Dear this past week,

You can suck my non-existent dick. Seriously. Three midterms the week after Thanksgiving? Did you expect me to study while I was drinking a hole in my liver and eating my weight in turkey? I think my family would have thought it was rude if I whipped out the physics textbook while we were having coffee and pie. Also, you and your friend, the facebook newsfeed, need to shut the f*ck up. Why the need to twist the knife you've been shanking me with when I was taking a study break on Wednesday night? After hours of being miserable and feeling stupid, I didn't need to log on to facebook and see that extremely-attractive-possibly-too-cute-for-me boy (who I hooked up with and have been nursing a terrible crush for) has a girlfriend. A hot one. And they look really effin' happy in his profile picture, making cutesy-kissy faces at each other. I mean, it's not like I wanted to be his boo forever, but couldn't she be at least a little less physically perfect? Thanks for letting me know there's one less good-looking single boy out there.

At least my best friend, Friday night, is helping me out here. I get to see my girl M.I.A. tonight.

I'm going to dance this one out so hard I'll forget all about you.

Peace, Bitch!
C