Dear Bear Grylls from "Man vs. Wild",

Good God, I want to do you. No, I want you to do me. Hard.

THANK YOU for finding an excuse to disrobe and show your bare ass (perfection) nearly EVERY episode. I don't care that you get your nutrition from grubs, raw snakes, and various animal's testicles in front of my very eyes...you are still sexy as shit. You animal, you.

I wish I could meet you. I would just stand next to you and smell your manliness. Mmmmm

A