Dear friend who owns a psycho dog,

I know that you think that Fido is the cutest, cuddliest little bundle of awesome to ever hit DC, but I assure you, he's not. His antics, like jumping on me and trying to bite my hands every time I walk in the door, are getting old.. Although Fido's penchant for almost ripping my shirt is uber-irritating, more annoying is your solution of "just ignore him". How 'bout you discipline your dog instead, mmkay? Because if Fido does succeed in his task of costing me my entire wardrobe from Banana, I'm gonna kick someone. And it's not gonna be the dog.

xoxo,
T