Dear person that wasn't really ever my boyfriend:

Ok, so I know that we have both moved on and have other significant others and everything, but like, we hooked up off and on for two and a half years. Why on EARTH do you refuse to acknowledge my existence!?! WTF. I know that if we were friends and understood why we stopped hooking up in the first place then I would stop having dreams about you and wouldn't have to feel guilty around my boyfriend about maybe liking you. Because I don't, I know I don't, but I did like you a lot, and I wondered why we never got together because I thought you liked me too. And ok, I know you make $4 million dollars a year to play a game...but if you think I only want to talk to you because you're a pro athlete you're also retarded. We were a thing back in the day before all that, so basically I'm like your ghetto girl and knew you before the money and the glamor and you know I don't give a shit about that. I just want to be friends.

The thing is, I really really liked you, and it makes me sad that you don't even answer my myspace messages, so...if you could please like, not ignore me, that would be wonderful.

K thanks,
Gretzkina