This is just to say sorry in advance for duct taping you to your bed in your sleep next week to prevent you from moving to London. I know you'll probably hate me now, but it's tough love, kid. Just think - if you moved away for six months, who else would I spend the day gchatting with and not doing anything productive with at work? I NEED you. If there were a whole ocean between us, who would I snuggle with every weekend? Who would I talk to for hours on end about how I am a psycho who will never have a normal relationship in my entire life, let alone a chance at real love? I need you here to commiserate with me, not across the pond snogging blokes with bad teeth. You are my number one enabler of questionable decisions (Exhibit A: The Great WT Yacht Trespassing Incident of '07....Exhibit Infinity: Jeremy Piven), and without you it just wouldn't be the same. Most importantly, if you aren't here helping me finish off a bottle of Jose Cuervo, you know I'm gonna have to drink it all myself. And that's just not a good idea.
I Love You Don't Leave Me,
P.S. - pineapple.