Dear me,

You look and feel like crap. Pull yourself together, biatch. He is not the first and he won't be the last.

Just remember when you talk to him tonight: you will only go back to him if he gets his act together and starts treating you like the Queen you are! And stay strong. Don't punk out like you always do and look at his face and think of his peen and then just melt like Jell-O on hot concrete. That mess has gots to stop.

Be like, "look masturbater, you betta treat me right, like you got some damn sense or it's CURTAINS for you. Got it?!" But maybe try to say it less gangsta and more relationship counselor.

Oh, and one more thing, if it doesn't work out, be sure to have some awesome "I-hate-you-so-much-you-bastard" sex before you drop him off at his house, k? Cool.

Checkin out rebound prospects AS WE SPEAK,
TR