Dear Alcoholic Neighbor,

While babysitting your 3 year old today, i found some of what she said while playing barbies to be quite disturbing. I am fairly certain it is not normal for a child of that age to play out a scene in which "mommy barbie" is going to the "beer store" every 5 minutes, ultimately resulting in "mommy barbie" taking her clothes off and falling down. You may want to consider censoring some of your actions while your child is present.

And another thing...when you came home today at 1 in the afternoon, you offered me a beer. Again, not quite so normal.

Wondering how your child is still alive,
Charlotte