Dear Tourists Hindering My Morning Commute,
WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT! GOD DAMMIT! Are you absolutely oblivious to the throngs of cranky businesspeople shuffling past you on the escalator as you stand cluelessly with your bright orange fanny packs? We have devised and intricate system that places us at our desks at exactly 9:00am, and if we have to run over your fat asses so that our boss won't yell at us, don't think we won't hesitate to push you and your three whiny rugrats out of the way.
Starbucks-less Thanks to You, and VERY Cranky,