Dear Recent Injuries Acquired Within A 12 Hour Period Between Saturday And Sunday,
Ouch! Why do you bitches have to be so damn painful? While it may be true that I am a whiny-ass little baby when it comes to my tolerance of pain, the degree of agony caused by your aggregate afflictions upon my person are more than most people would find comfortable. The worst part is that I can not even blame alcohol for your occurrences...well at least not one of them. Ultimately I would not trade you for the wonderfully fantastic fun that was had at the hoo-rah, but for future reference, it would be nice if you could go a little easier on me next time.
Hoping You Heal Soon,