Dear Chris Brown,

You are incredibly sexual and it makes me feel slightly dirty even saying that considering you are a mere 18 years old and there is a 5 year age difference between us. Yet, your soulful voice and insanely hot dance moves fool girls like myself into thinking that you are very mature (in more ways than one). I love drooling over your perfect pectorals and picturing the BBC while you serenade me with the likes of "Run It." And no, my man ain't on the floor...

Thinking about your pop & lock,

G

PS: I am now forever afraid to use the word "however." I don't think I can live without it in my vocab. Someone needs to inform me of the correct usage immediately. Thanks.