Dear Java Chip Frappuccino Light,

How is it possible to fit your orgasmic taste into a tiny 160 calories and 3.5 grams of fat? That's like trying to fit all of my curvaceous bod into a pair of size 4 designer jeans -- something that could only happen in my wildest of dreams. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen the hot Starbucks barista whipping you up with my own eyes. The time we spent together this afternoon was better than an hour alone with my long-distance boyfriend (but don't tell him I said so).

Digging every inch of your chocolate-coffee goodness and longing for our next rendezvous,
Lisa