Dear Random Guy (Part 2),

In my state of exhausted delirium post 3 day Adderoll binge, I thought I was imagining the text messages I kept getting during my nap. Turns out I was wrong, because I just opened my inbox and there you and your meatus are. Sure enough you have sent me more than one depiction of your bare, erect penis.

How interesting. I'd give it an 8. But... is that a manzillian? Something looks very 11 year old girlish about your smooth pubus.


God, I can't even function right now enough to appreciate this. So sad.

I Can't Be Held Responsible For Showing Every Person In The Bar This While Drinking, Or, Ya Know, Sober In The Office Tomorrow,

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