Dear Tira,

Why are you the best dog in the whole wide world?! Because of you, I barely like any other dog. I am so in love with you. Thank goodness you're mine. You are perfect because you are extremely good-looking, highly intelligent, and make out with me at the appropriate times. Somehow you have no desire to hump, bark, or smell/lick other dog's holes/excrement. Miraculously, you don't even smell like a dog, but more like a dream. It's beyond me why you're 4 and your breath is still a garden of roses. You are like the Jesus of dogs.

Lick me,

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