Dear Hipster Couples Walking Around The Village All Day,

I'm so jealous of you. Sure, my parents might think you need a good bar of soap, but I think you are so cool. I wish I could pull off having nappy hair, tattoed arms, and an angstly look. That is so hot. I want to be that. I feel like my closet full of the likes of J.Crew, The Gap, and Banana Republic aren't really conducive to your look though. Maybe I should go on that MTV show "Made" and get braces and say dorkily into a camera "I want to be a hipster. I want to be MADE!". That would be awesome. Maybe then I could score a hot-ass boyfriend with tats everywhere, clad in skinny jeans and a headband, and possessing slightly feminine features that tend to threaten the everyday alpha male.

Green With Envy,
A