Dear Research Proposal Due in 7 Hours,
My blood pressure may or may not be skyrocketing right now. I've been writing you non-stop for the past fucking week and you're STILL not as pretty as I want you to be. I feel so much like Jessie Spano on caffeine pills right now (except in my case it would be A.D.D. candies-and maybe we could portray me in one of her Showgirls outfits instead of her typical SBTB culottes). There's never ANY TIME! God Zach Morris, FUCKING HOLD ME!!!
I can't handle this pressure. Wait, yes I can. I will not crack. This will not be a rerun of the 8th grade dance and I will not hide in the bathroom...I mean....I will not make you anything less than an amazing product for all to adore and use as an illustration of my astounding level of intelligence.
Mark My Words, I Will Dominate You By The End Of The Night(...and that's what she said),