Dear Person With The Surprise Case Of Gonn(orhea),
I was reading about your predicament today. I came across this line on wikipedia.
"Men may complain of pain on urinating and thick, copious, urethral pus discharge (also known as gleet) is the most common presentation. Examination may show a reddened external urethral meatus."
I'm sorry, this is a serious situation, but I've been laughing at the word "meatus" all day. Hell, I'm laughing right now.