Dear Massage Therapist,

Not positive, but from a professional standpoint, I don't think you were supposed to blatantly ogle my breasts when I flipped over beneath your sheet. Actually I'm pretty sure your job was to keep me covered, not expose me.

Whatever, Keep Touching Me,
A

P.S. If you were gonna do that shit, you coulda at least sprung for a happy ending....I kid. I kid.