Dear Back,

You make me feel decrepit at the ripe age of 23. Years of being tossed through the air, lifting girls above my head, and catching the weight of a human body has taken a toll on you. Thank God I retired my pom poms when I did. Having an excuse for people to stare at me in a short skirt was not worth the fact that I will have a cane and a hump by the time I'm 35. And probably a few hernias for good measure. This is not good.

In Need OF Some Advil And A Man With Strong But Gentle Hands,
A