Dear Mom,

For about an hour we had a good time today. For a fleeting moment I thought I would escape your wrath for one day, however, I was wrong. I'm glad after deciding to leave your house because I couldn't handle you anymore, you repeatedly called me until I answered to give me a chance to apologize to you and threaten estrangement if I refused. Way to show me who's boss by writing a lovely email about how you are calling a "mandatory family meeting" on wednesday night in which you will "command respect". I also like how you threw in that a class conflict was the only grounds for excusable absence. Let me tell you something, you can shove your meeting up your ass. I have important things to do like pay my bills, get drunk, watch the Simple Life, and live my adult life. I don't have time for you to ground me while I'm in graduate school. I'm not going to deal with your drama. Cut the shit, Mom.

Thanks,
A