Dear Bike Shorts,

You've saved my ass (quite literally) from more embarassing and/or socially unacceptable situations than I can remember. I can't tell you the number of times I've slurred, "It's okay guys, I've got my BIKE SHORTS on!!!!" while cartwheeling, jumpin on random boys' backs, or performing any number of similarly ridiculous antics. Every time I trip and fall in the street -- you're there. When I dance around like a maniac, spinning and high-kicking to my heart's content -- you're there, just poppin' out to say 'hey'. So what if you're not really bike shorts at all, but more like a tiny piece of fabric designed for dancers/cheerleaders when they flash their bums on a stage/court?! You are fabulous, and I wear you with pride almost every weekend when I insist on strutting my stuff in dresses that barely cover my Britney. Sometimes I even hike up my skirt and run around flashing you like a three year old just for the hell of it - I love you that much.
Bike Shorts, I think it's high time I give you the credit you deserve, and I really appreciate all you've done for me over the past few months. In fact, it's highly probably that you've saved me from being arrested on at least one occasion.

You're The Best,
CF