Dear Boring Ex-Boyfriend,

When I very cordially send you an article I think you might like, please do not respond by emailing me back a lengthy, carefully crafted economic treatise. I read about two sentences of your unsolicited essay and almost killed myself from not caringness. Seriously, that shit had equations in it. This is why I broke up with you, so I wouldn't be subjected to these outpourings of dullness.

Could. Not. Care. Less.
Shameless