Dear Endless Meeting to Refine your Company’s Mission Statement:

While I still think that nobody will care because what your company does is pretty pointless, I am impressed that your members discuss…every…word…exhaustively. Their enthusiasm and stamina are admirable. I’m confident that, one day, when all their mortgages have been paid, your attendees will finally express precisely nothing in exactly the right way.

Also, please don’t worry that we’ve achieved nothing at all while sitting in you; I’ve used the time to come up with my own mission statement:

“…to develop a constant, happy-lucky feeling.”

Thanks!
-T

p.s. FYI, The boxed lunches suck.