Dear Holier-than-thou Trophy Wives in my Building on the Warpath over the Neighborhood Hookers:

Nowwaitasecond…

All y’all spend all day working out, spa-ing and having boozy lunches on the tab of your Broker slash Lawyer slash Whatever spouses so that said husbands have a pretty you to come home to…and you’re bothered that we have women who “allow themselves to be objectified for financial gain” in our hood?

…uhm…Oooo’kay…

Newsflash, bitches! The streetwalkers aren’t the only ones who fit that bill ‘round these parts. I only come to these ridiculous meetings because you keep suggesting we pay for floor wax on the fire escape stairs and other absurd shit. Waste your husbands’ money, NOT mine. I don’t care about your moral majority propaganda. This is a GENTRIFYING district. That means rough edges, got it?! Notice our low taxes? It’s because our home is in sketch-town! You want to live in sacharine prettyland make sure it’s an owner and not a worker-bee you marry next.

And STOP with all the bible-talk. Like it’s on your side! Last time I checked, your boy Jesus not only blessed the hos, but had one for a BFF. Maybe not the strongest leg for your argument? Oh, I see. You can’t actually READ that book, you just thump it. You have WAAAY too much free time for having so few brains.

Just chill.

Please?

Not wanting to be bitch-slapped by some pimp over my address,
-T

p.s. Saw one of your husbands out last weekend with “not you.” Just between us, pumpkin, he and his “friend” weren’t focused on a shared appreciation of the music, m’kay?

p.p.s. Don’t think my disgust is going to stop me checking you in the gym. Turns out hypocrisy doesn’t reduce your evil, stupid hotness.