Dear Apple:

Kindly go f*ck yourself, how's about? I'm SO sure it's okay that Ipods are totally hetero, ie, they only go one way, but that is NOT a very open, accepting attitude now, is it? I mean, WTF*ckingF?!?!? (Also, how much do I hate that Big Brother won't let me type f*ck w/out putting my face up in some creepy room to be watched and monitored?!?!!) My laptop died and so now I can't get Shania f*cking Twain off of here!!! WHY GOD WHY?!!?!? It's not like I'm electronically savvy, so maybe there's some way to get around this, but if I don't figure it out soon (and by that, I mean if someone doesn't just tell me how already) I will maniacally throw my Ipod under a bus and then instantly scream "NOOOOOOOOOOO" while dropping to my knees. I'm so pissed that I can't even get my bought songs on my itunes at work. Seriously, that is SOOOO uncool that I'm considering reverse-engineering your entire product line and putting step-by-step directions on a billboard in Times Square, Leicester Square, and that place in Tokyo kind of like those places. Greedy, evil f*ckers.

Oh yeah, I so did a dance of joy when that dude hacked the Iphone so you could use it on any network. I'd totally blow that guy in the lobby of your headquarters while he talked on his T-Mobile serviced Iphone about how to get Napster back.

Get bent and stop redesigning your products and then not making accessories for the old versions, you dicks,
b

PS So I'm kicking myself for not buying your stock at the beginning of this year. What?!? I could afford not to care about the $0.99 I have to REPAY for every friggin song I already bought from you ass-raping f*ckers.