Dear Male Stripper,

For future reference, just because I'm an exhibitionist does not mean I actually want to have sex with you. When I smack your bare ass, bite it, and force you to show me your peen, I'm doing it for my own selfish enjoyment...not foreplay.

Frankly, I have no idea why I let you take it that far, but your make-outs, rubbing your hand between my thighs, licking my ta-tas, and moaning in my ear "yea mommy....mmmm....you're such a bad girl" provoked nothing but apathy on my part. I'm not gonna lie, it's easy to tell when I'm into it, but I was clearly NOT with you. It should have been your tip off when I kept saying "I'm done. Really. I'm done. That's enough."

ALSO, it further broke the deal when you got so insecure because your sexuality was being questioned that you put your clothes back on, I had to sit you on my lap (a grown man), and tell you it was unacceptable for you to keep breaking character and to take your clothes back off. When someone hired you, they didn't pay you to require a peptalk from one of their guests.

Maybe You're Just Not Cut Out For This Career Path,
A