Dear Neighbor:

3 things:

1. Don't act like you're not impressed that I drunk dialed you to come meet me at a strip club and then ignored you to stare at the hot HOT women working the pole.
2. When I tell you I want more sex, like...now, the correct response should be "I think I may be love you" NOT "no, I'm tapped out for the morning...*yawn*."
3. I faked it.

Your massive dong touched my heart (literally) but you maybe didn't,
b