Dear Guy I Know,

You're in a relationship. Cool. Good for you. Seriously. Congrats. If you have any tips on how to not be so egocentric that being with someone else is actually a possibility, feel free to enlighten me.

But I digress, while I celebrate your lovelife, I have some advice for you: Tell your GF to stop declaring her love for you on your wall every 3rd post. It irritates me. Variations of "I LOVE YOU!!!!" and "I miss you too baby!!!:)" are just plain silly. The point is that you're IN a RELATIONSHIP (i.e. you most likely TALK to each other every day or so, therefore, you have the opportunity to SAY these things...not formally display them on the internet in case anyone forgot you were in love...which would be no one).

I counted. Since you've been together, your woman has written the L-word on your wall 14 times. Guess what mama, everyone knows you love your boo.

Maybe I'm just j. Wait, no. Because i still wouldn't do that shit.

Just to rebel...I'm not even gonna be FRIENDS with my next woadie on facebook. Why? Because I respect the facebook community and realize that people would probably rather see 2 geriatrics going at it than be subjected to mushball lovebird chitchat.

SIDEBAR: I swear to God, the next time I see someone writing some gay shit like "you're the bestest girlfriend ever!!!" or "i wuv youuuuu", I will publicly call them out for being tools.

Calm Down With The FB PDA,
A

P.S. People need to stop doing day countdowns til they're next reunion. People want to read funny things posted by other people, not a display of how many hours it will be until your next coitus. Sick.