Dear Pumpkin Spice Lotion I Bought For My Roommate As A Present,

You smell scrumptious! In fact, I'd almost be tempted to lick my own arm right now (which is delightfully satiny smooth, by the way, so good job on that) if I didn't know any better. Okay, so I just did lick my arm and you don't taste good. But that's okay because you smell better than anything could possibly taste anyway. SO good, in fact, that I just used up like half of you -- whoops.

(Don't Tell Massie),
CF