Dear UPS Man,

Apparently you have never before been acquainted with an apartment building. If you knock on the door, it leads to a stairwell where no one will hear you. You have to ring the very clearly marked buzzers next to the door. Mine is 3, corresponding with the "APT 3" clearly labeled on the package. Please stop being a lazy bastard, and do your job.

I had to call and flip out on a completely innocent receptionist at UPS to get you to come back that day,
ML

p.s. you had better apologize to that nice lady. she helped me out. and it isn't MY fault that you're a douche bag.