Dear girls with pink hair,

I'm not sure WHAT you think you're accomplishing. I have met ONE girl in my entire life who could pull off pink hair. And since I've moved to the city, I've seen NONE that actually work. Do you think that looks good? Because I hate to break it to you, but you're really very wrong. Pink highlights? Trashy. Entirely pink hair? Also, trashy. Perhaps this association comes from my childhood redneck town where all the trailer trash girls would try so desperately to be "different" by dying their hair and getting pregnant at the age of 16. But either way, you AREN'T pulling it off, whatever it is you are trying. So do us all a favor, and please stop.

Help me help you,

p.s. I REALIZE that Gwen Stefani had pink hair. But one thing you need to realize is that Gwen Stefani is THE SHIT. And you, dear, are not. At all. Also, Gwen Stefani had the money to make it so when her hair was pink, she didn't look like she had a large neon sign on her head.

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