Dear Gorgeous Indian ManBoy at Naan 'n' Beyond,
I have to admit, I got a little weak in the knees when you handed me my veggie tikka wrap at lunch. Your brilliant smile and playful wink can really do a number on a gal. Thing is: I can't decide if you are 16 or just sort of young-looking because of your light eyes and soft, creamy skin. But y'know what? I kind of don't care either way. If I were any wittier I'd make up some hilarious double entendre involving shawarmas or something, but I'm too dazzled by your beauty to think right now.
You Are One Spicy Chutney (See What I Mean? That Really Wasn't Clever),