Dear Dan in NC, DC, the OC or wherever:

Um…you lost the Subway argument dude.

Sorry to burst the bubble, but it ended the second lettuce, oil and vinegar got fantasized about. You’ve been mortally wounded for days. Spend some final quality time with your fam and die with some dignity already.

Just sayin,
-T

p.s. Maybe you should eat Quiznos or Potbelly?