dear homecoming date that told everyone he was going to ask me out and then didn't (and told me we should "just stay friends"),

i knew i couldn't pull off an actual relationship, and apparently you did too.
we both know we are not going to "stay friends".

but something that you don't know is that i have other options. this is an area in which you are severely lacking-- except for the anime-reading freak in our math class-- so i just don't understand why you decided to be done with me... NOT that i'm allowing myself to care, because we were way to different for it to have worked in the first place, but now i'm wondering if i have some terrible character flaw that i'm totally unaware of, other that the fact that i drink and have sex and never go to church and participate in social activities with my friends-- yes, some of us have those-- instead of playing video games for 12 hours a day. since when did any of these things become a deal-breaker??

one of the older men that was comforting me saturday night after you blew me off at the bonfire said, "well, i don't feel sorry for you at all. you're young and beautiful and you have the whole world in front of you."
aww... but that's not true. those of us who are young and various levels of attractive have problems too, including having self-esteem that is without a doubt lower than anyone else's that i know.

and then i made out with him.
and drank kerosene, on accident
and smoked way too much weed, on accident
and then hooked up with his friend, prrrrobably on accident
and definitely in a tree.

but i digress--
homecoming date, fuck you for being a dick and tearing me down even further when i finally let my guard down and trusted a guy for the first time in literally a year.
go play halo 3 and do not try to talk to me tomorrow.


i'm sorry if this post was hard to follow.

possibly dying,
-c