Dear person that wasn't really ever my boyfriend:

I was trying my best to ignore you, and succeeding, and then you show up in a dream. And we washed cars together. I do not like this AT ALL!

My boyfriend was RIGHT THERE! Sleeping next to me! I opened my eyes, expecting to find you, and I found HIM! I'm petrified that I said your name while I was sleeping last night and he's going to know I was having a wet (heh) dream about you!

This is not good. You need to go away. Or come back, for reals. or SOMETHING.

~Gretkina