Dear Sex Drive,
You know what's incredible? You've disappeared. Almost completely. And this is not unexpected either. You've been plummeting to shockingly low levels for months upon months. You're kinda like that old car sitting in the driveway. No one wants to use you and there you lay, value decreasing, and battery dying. Sad.
Whatever, I'm volatile when my hormones are raging anyway. Oh well. What a waste of my nubile 23 year old physique. I don't even care anymore.
Apathetic To Your Apathy,