Dear Sketchy Guy In Huge Hooded Jacket Who Accosted Me on the Corner at 11pm While I Was Walking Home Alone in SE DC In The Rain,
Not gonna lie, I was kind of scared of you. But then, instead of mugging me, you offered me your Huge Hooded Jacket because I was freezing and umbrella-less. OBVIOUSLY I would still never get close enough to you where you could actually hand me your coat, but it was still a nice thought.
My Neighborhood Is the Cutest,