Dear Family Of The House We Are Staying At But Do Not Know,
Maybe you should do something about the GIANT cockroach that crawled out of the sink today. Like call an exterminator. Between the cat puking, dogs eating each other's shits, and roaches I'd say it's time for a good floor to ceiling decontamination. I mean, I can look up some numbers in the yellow book for you if you'd like.
I'll Leave Some Numbers On The Fridge,