Dear J,

You did NOT refuse to have sex with me because it wouldn't be "fair" to your girlfriend, did you? I hope I made that up because I was too drunk to function. I think we passed the point of being fair to her when we started making out on my couch. Or, back when we made out at my work. Ok, so maybe you did refuse me, but you also called me this morning to tell me you hoped we would talk before I leave for the beach on Saturday. You "like talking to me"? I like not being turned down for sex. That's never happened to me. If i didn't need your partner to be my lawyer for my DUI, I would probably never speak to you again.

Make up your mind, Douchebag.

You Aren't A Very Good Kisser,
S.B.

P.S. You let me *drive* in the state I was in? After we discussed how to proceed with my DUI? What kind of lawyer are you?