Dear Kim,

Everyone has that one friend who you can always count on to be belligerently drunk to the point where you think they might throw a dog out a window if enough alcohol was consumed. You are that friend to me. Last night, you lived up to my expextations for you. While I sipped my 2 drinks of the evening, you proceeded to get hammered to the point of wrestle-mania belligerence. Over the course of 2 hours, you managed to engage in several activities which would have resulted in our removal from the bar. On the way out, you decided it would be best if you kicked the walls as many times as you could before reaching the door. While outside the elevator, you spilled your drink on the carpet for fun. When we got downstairs you threw your cup full of ice at a wall. While outside, you took the foldable sign for the lounge and wore it. We barely escaped the bouncers wrath. When we got home, you refused to give me a blanket to sleep on your couch until I escorted you down to the dumpster where you stole a mini christmas tree with lights from your apartment complex and put it on the hood of my car. You also did all of this things while exclaiming jibber jabber profanities such as "BITCH OF A GUN!" and "JESUS, MOTHER OF MARINATE!" You are possibly the most insane person I have ever met and I love every second of it.

Keep Trucking Bitch,
A