Dear Maternal Instincts,

You are starting to scare me. I am drawn to babies and small children more than ever. You conflict very much with my lack of interest in marriage anytime soon, furthermore, my inability to even maintain a healthy relationship for more than a week. For the time being, I've been fairly successful in muting you. However, I would appreciate it if you would kindly stop for the next 10 years or so.

Thanks,
A