Dear Nashville gay bars,

There are only four of you worth going to. This is pathetic. I come from a city of clouds and fog and rotting wood salty and drifting in the wind where there are hundreds of options for twirlers and trannies alike. Why is it that whenever I go to you I run into at least five people I have no interest
in seeing. God, it's almost more fun to be straight in this town. I can't even get any play when I'm wasted and effusive! Africa stole my game! Maybe it's for the best that I stop going to these memory holes.

Chris