Dear Perez,

Note to self: Don't accept an invitation to appear on 'The View' when you've nicknamed Elisabeth Hasselbeck as 'Elisabitch' on your blog and defaced her pictures. You are exactly right, she is a bitch. So WHY would you go on her show when you know full well all she will do is confront you and make the audience (and me sitting on my couch 1,000 miles away from the production studio) feel insanely uncomfortable?

Your Public Conflicts Put Me At Ill Ease,

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