Dear VB (Victoria Beckham),
I know I just wrote to you a few days ago about how fabulous you are and how I have a giant girl crush on you. I have to write again to tell you that I grossly underestimated how much I want to BE YOU. Last night I watched you on TV as you became chummy with Perez Hilton (after he called you an alien), imitated a blow up doll, played baseball in 4 in. heels, made fun of yourself for the fact that you never so much as crack a smile when out in public, and became mortified when you got photographed in flat shoes. The critics may hate you, but it's only because they are jealous and will never know what it is like to be even 1/2 as amazing as you are. I can't wait to incorporate your vocab into my everyday lingo. Words like "knickers" and "tart" and MAJOR. Now if I could only afford your giant designer sunglasses, oversized handbags, and skin tight couture... and bang your husband. And I must agree, it is quite exhausting being this fabulous.
Girl crush doesn't even begin to describe it,