Dear Lasts Nights Drunken John Rich Post CMA's After Party,
I have always known that you were some what of a douche, but after last nights display of inappropriate behavior, it's a complete confirmation. I understand that you own a million dollar lounge and you spent $20,000 on alcohol for randos to drink, but let's get real- did you actually think that you could invite Gretchen and Kid Rock to a party and have them not ruin everything? They're the epit of white trash.
Also, we greatly appreciated you showing up to your performance down stairs 4 hours late, but being so bombed that you couldn't even stand. I guess it was the thought that counts.
I am sure your private club will work out real well,
p.s. Next time you want a cab to take you somewhere, it may go over much better if you don't kick his car and cuss him out. Just a suggestion.