Dear Physics-102 Professor,

I rarely say this to anyone that I've met in real life, but I hate you with an undying, fiery, all-consuming passion. Why? It's simple really. You, sir, are making me take a midterm the day after Halloween. At 8 a.m. Therefore, it is not humanly possible for me to enjoy this most sacred of holidays the way I should be: drunk and dressed like a two-cent hooker. Instead, I'm sitting here alone in my room, doing practice problems and going over old exams. No costume, no candy, no cocktails. I mean, you're pretty much like the Grinch that stole Halloween for everyone in your 200-person lecture class.

I have an equation for you, douchelord:

How pissed I am right now
---------------------------------------------- = I'm going to ruin your favorite holiday.
How hard this test is gonna be

Phuck Physics,

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