Dear AARP,

First off let me thank you for the really nice letter you sent me, inviting me to apply for membership to your find organization. I especially like the part which said "You and I are of a special generation." It was sweet. Unfortunately, I am turning 23, not 52, next week-and your letter did nothing to soothe my debilitating fear of aging.

Would kind of like to start my retirement though,
Shameless