Dear Boy I Dated Earlier This Yr But Didnt Really Like,

You are going away very soon and im really upset about it. Im also a little jealous that you will prob find the girl of your dreams who will fall in love with your accent and your XL penis. But before you go grow some fucking balls and call me. I send you flirty text msgs all the time especially asking when we are catching up and NOTHING. You obviously dont understand that we could be "friends with benefits". I refuse to text slash drunk dial you again until you realize this.

Take the initiative.


Anonymous said...

Sorry to have to say this, but I'm pretty sure he isn't attracted to you. You see, when a girl is into me and I don't reciprocate, I IGNORE her stupid and annoying "flirty text msgs". The more you know.

Anonymous said...


And that is why you will be getting that lump of coal this year. Nobody needs harsh this time of year. Knowledge is power but wisdom comes from using the right words in conveying the message.

CPD, have a great Christmas and may Santa bring you a new accent with an XXL tool!