Dear Everyone,

Just wanted to send you this uplifting note. If you are having a bad day, consider this: Today I just started my period and am feeling like shit. Think about what it might be like to have 1000 sharp blades carving into your lower abdomen at once while bawling your eyes out over phantom emotions and that's basically the gist. Then, on top of all of that, all that I have left in my house is Midol that expired in 2004 and considering there are zero dollars in my bank account, this is what I have to rely on. Since it expired a decade ago, I take 3x's the dosage and am now buzzed and loopy yet still feeling like there are small grenades going off in my ovaries every couple of seconds.

So, while wanting to kill someone bc my pain is so intense and in the midst of being jacked up on triple the dosage of pain meds, I also get pulled over on my way to work this morning. And get a speeding ticket along with being slapped with at least $400 in court costs, speeding fines, and other bullshit. This coincides nicely with the negative balance in my checking account.

Just wanted to let you all know that if you are having a bad day, it may not seem so bad now when compared to mine. Oh and by the way, it's 1pm and I'm at work where I am one of 2 people insane enough to be working during the holiday season. Therefore, I have cracked open a beer and am chugging it to add to the pain and dizziness that I already feel. I fully plan on being wasted by 3pm and I dare that same motherfucking cop to pull me over on my way home. Then I will be speeding AND driving drunk. What are you gonna do about that, asshole?!

Fuck Everything,
G