Dear High school Boyfriend,

WTF?!?!?! You seriously think that you can call me out of the blue after 7 years and I am just going to drop everything and move back to Atlanta for you?!?!?! HELL NOOOOOO!!! Did I not make it clear enough when I broke up with you in high school, you are a LOSER!!! I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but most of us graduated after 4 years, and it took you 7. Just because you have a college degree from a shitty school does not make me want to have sex with you (although it was pretty good and it is the one thing I miss about you). Thanks for nothing!

Hoping that the eligible bachelors of Boston come out of hiding sometime soon : )
-PD