Dear My 3 Younger Cousins,

The day i found out i will not be spending christmas lunch with you my heart jumped for joy. Not only do the 3 of you annoy the complete hell out of me but the thought of seeing you all makes me physically ill, does that make me a bad person??? well if it does i dont really care because my life does not revolve around you 3 im pretty sure my life revolves around getting discustingly drunk, smoking too many cigarettes and banging hot randoms - everything you 3 cannot do for at least another 10 yrs. if i see any of you between now and xmas or now and new yrs or now and never dont try to make conversation with me because im not interested at all i dont care whats going on with you and your lame lives. However i feel like i should personally thankyou for having other plans on christmas day because for the first time i can really enjoy my most fav meal of the yr without looking across the table and being turned off watching the 3 of you stuff your faces with every kind of food you can get your grubby little hands on.

Enjoy puberty.

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